You are Barack Obama, a noble living in the kingdom of Larion. You have a pouch of gold and a small dagger. You are awakened by one of your servants who tells you that your keep is under attack. You look out the window and see a group of orcs attacking from the north. They are using bows and arrows
> convene the army, navy, and air force and set them on the orcs
You quickly call for all the forces at your command to assemble. The orcish attackers are easily dispatched. You then send an order to the army to take up positions around the city. The navy fires upon the orcs but they are too numerous and too well armed
> give the navy a pep talk
"Gentlemen! We will not be defeated!"
The navy begins firing upon the orcs with their cannons. It seems like it works as you are able to destroy most of the horde. But the orcs are just getting ready to charge again
> order the Air Force to drop bombs
The Air Force is able to do this better than the Navy so you order them to drop bombs from above. This does indeed cause more damage to the orcs who are now running in terror from the bombs dropping down from the sky. They die horribly
> negotiate a peace treaty with the orcs
You meet with the orcs and try to convince them that peace is best for everyone. They agree and you sign a peace treaty. The agreement states that you will no longer attack anyone else and that you will provide them with food and supplies. They also promise to leave the kingdom of Larion alone
> give everyone in the battle a medal
You give everyone in the battle a medal. You feel good about yourself for doing something constructive.
> Invite Lin-Manuel Miranda to the White House
You go to see Lin-Manuel Miranda and tell him that he should come to the White House and perform at the inauguration ceremony. He agrees and comes to the White House.
> Award Lin the presidential medal of freedom after a rousing performance that brought everybody to tears.
Lin-Manuel Miranda performs his song "My Shot" and brings the house down. Everyone sings along and claps. You congratulate him and give him the Presidential Medal of Freedom
> Bring Obamacare to Congress
You bring Obamacare to Congress. You convince the Republicans to pass it by telling them that if they don't pass it, the government will shut down. You get the support of many Democrats and the bill passes the Senate. You get the support of many Republicans and the bill passes the House
> hold a big party to celebrate Obamacare
You hold a big party to celebrate Obamacare. You have a huge cake made out of chocolate covered strawberries and vanilla ice cream. There are balloons and confetti everywhere. Everybody eats and drinks until the early hours of the morning. You spend the rest of the day celebrating
> get bored and decide it's time for a presidential quest
You decide it's time for a presidential quest. You start writing letters to every president since George Washington asking them to help you defeat the evil empire of Zodok. You write to each one and ask them to help you. Eventually you receive a reply from John Adams
> Issue John Adams a gun, and invite Lin on your quest too
You issue John Adams a gun, and invite Lin-Manuel Miranda on your quest too. Both join you on your noble quest. You travel to the planet Zodok where you find it under attack by the Empire of Zodok
> politely request that the Empire of Zodok not attack itself
You politely request that the Empire of Zodok not attack itself. You tell the Emperor that if he attacks himself, you will help him defend against the attack. The Emperor complies and you begin to fight the Empire of Zodok. You win and kill all its leaders
> return home, suppress the news of your dark secret, and silently pay reparations for your war crimes
You return home, suppress the news, and quietly pay reparations for your war crimes. You continue your life as normal
> begin advocacy for world peace
You fight for world peace. You become a pacifist and live a peaceful life
> end all wars
You end all wars, and successfully complete your quest for world peace. You achieve peace between all nations and you become very popular. You become a hero and you live happily ever after.. CONGRATS YOU WIN
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